The Wiggs'

The Wiggs'
Vicky, Ashley, Twilight, Chocolate, Tweak and Pan. June 2011

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Hiatus

After the adventures with Sam and the local DFS,  Ash and I decided to concentrate on the baby that was due Christmas instead.

Sense the last post, I have had to deal with grief and depression from Sam.  It wouldn't have been a big deal if they hadn't keep dangling "adoption" in our faces.  If we knew it was a short term, then we would have been ok.

Our social worker came back over with her sup and a department manager so they could threaten us and basicly tell us we were bad parents.  our social worker even went as far as to say she WILL hotline us if she sees anything that would be bad for the adoptive child while we were working on getting our licesnse fixed.  Concidering she thought that a drink lid on the floor was "trash EVERYWHERE" I know she WILL hot line us if she comes into the house again.  One of the managers went as to far to say we need to keep the house in the shape we want it, as if we were going to try to sell it.  Um that's IMPOSSIBLE with children!! But they want it and what they want, they get, or the children are who suffers.

That was on the 14th.  I also think they did not give the new parents the letter I wrote them about Sam.  There was too much personal info about us in the letter, but it was important to know for his likes and dislikes.  But  Ibet they got him with ZERO background.  poor kid, poor parents.  I hope they figure out "Nana" is banana.

Sense then we worked hard to get the house ready for the new baby.  New floors were installed on the 13th, new furniture ordered on the 17th (still not here yet) painted the living room, hall, and master bedroom.  Had to get rid of Tweak,  our oldest cat (11 years old, the one in the picture in the grass)  But getting rid of her eliminated all of the random pee problems.  so once we get the couch replaced, the only thing that will smell like cat pee, is the cat box.

Here's the exciting thing-- Friday, December 23rd, at 6:47pm---

ANTHONY STEVEN was Born!!

the story, and updates about him can be found at http://babywiggs.blogspot.com/

this blog is going on hiatus for a bit as we get used to a newborn.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Sam's new family

Sam's adoption staffing was today.
at about 10am his social worker emailed me snippits of the 2 other families profiles and we indicated our preference, and why.  Then at about 11, she emails me back inviting us to be still considered.  I think she was impressed with the corrections we're doing on the house. *she stopped by on Wednesday after Sam's bio grandparents  visit.* Either that or sense we were making formal complaints with supervisors,  they were trying to placate us. So we went down at 3:30 and talked with the team.

at 4:30 she called me to let me know they had chosen the family we had preferred.  It hurt that we were denied, but it was good that we did have a say, and was listened to.

He gets picked up at 9am on Sunday by his social worker to go to his new forever (hopefully) home.  I am going to give them a long letter with his likes, dislikes, etc and our contact information.  I hope to be able to keep in touch.  They sound very nice and like someone we would like to know.

Samwise, Sam I am,  my first son, regardless of how long you were with us.  We will miss you.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Rally the troops!

So after Monday's news, Ashley's mom and grandma responded in a fashion that sometimes doesn't help, but in this case can actually help.  They are throwing money at the problem to fix it.  Sometimes that just is a waste, but sometimes it is what is needed.  In this case that is removing and replacing any thing that is a problem in the house.  As Ash's mom said "Anything fabric has to go or get shampooed"  So now we have a 20 foot dumpster in the driveway already almost full of crap from the garage,  I spent 2 hours at Lowe's today with MIL picking out and paying for laminate flooring for the living room, hallway, nursery and master bedroom, and wall paint for the living room, hall and kitchen.  She is planning on also replacing our furniture.

Flooring is going from cheep grade, 12+ year old, abused country blue carpet to a very pretty Pergo Moneta Mahogany and will be in the living room, hall, nursery, and master bedroom.  the kitchen can wait, the bathrooms have nice tile, the office is last on the list of importance.  I'll probably just pull the carpet from there and leave it. (sub floor is cement)

Living room and hall walls are going from egg shell white to Valspar's Silver leaf grey, trim and doors will be bright white.
Kitchen is going from a peachy pink to Valspar's Dandelion Chain yellow, also with white trim (the cabinets are already white and the back splash is a white and yellow tile.)  My Grandma always had a yellow kitchen and I have lots of good memories of her kitchen.

IF I have time, we'll paint the bedroom too.  It's a light beige right now.  I hadn't decided for sure, but was thinking of doing the walls just white except for one wall, which have it a brick red.  With Navy Blue curtains and bedspread.

But in the mean time we also filled a 20 yard dumpster with crap from the garage.  I forgot to take a picture of before.  But when I posted the after on FB, we got a lot of "OMG there's a FLOOR!!" and such. We wanted the Garage cleared so we could move things from the house to it while we do the flooring.

Many of my friends are helping.  My BFF and her husband unfortunately are sick with the stomach bug that Samwise brought us from daycare, but there is plenty of willing hands to help! :)

I can't believe we are actually doing soo much redecorating!!  When we moved in, in June 2001, The walls were the same color as they are now, heck I even just took down a picture from a wall, that the previous owners had left!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Well that's that.


We’re declared unfit to be foster parents 'cause we have cats and possessions

Today at 10am our social worker stopped by, Ash pulled in right after her cause he was coming home sick, so we heard the news together instead of me being told “we need to get together after Ash gets home from work.”

Apparently the doctor that we took Sam to last week felt the need to hotline us for “manhandling him” and that he smelled like cat pee.  I think that probably was my coat which was washed as soon as we got home, and Sam was climbing all over me.  But our social worker also pointed out that the living room was “filthy” i.e. a torn up Kleenex and a pair of socks plus some toys on the floor.  Because of the existing concerns about the cleanliness of the house and this call from the doctor, we are now excluded from Sam’s adoption staffing. They say we can be part of the team to decide, but I want to be vindictive and ask both families if they have pets, and bring up “concerns” about it if they do. 

He’ll be removed by the 12th.  A part of me want him to go now, like a Band-Aid. But part wants to snuggle some more.  And I don’t want to make him spend 2 weeks in a shelter or respite temp homing.

Our social worker pointed out all these concerns will be provided to the adoption lawyer for Penguin.  This makes me feel like they are black balling us for everything by doing that.  Than again, what will the guardian ad lidum for Penguin do? Say that living with his bio dad in a 2 bedroom apartment with 5 other people is better?  Or living in an un- insulated garage with his bio mom?

To try to prevent this,  we have ordered new laminate flooring to be installed in the next few weeks. Thanks to Ashley's mom who paid for it.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Sam will have a permanent home by Christmas.

Well, we’re one step closer to being Sam’s forever family. Or we're just one step away from losing him forever.

Wens, I get a text from his social worker saying he had a visit with his bio grandparents and that she wanted to stop by afterwards.  So I got the house ship shape for her and my social worker who also came over.  They said the house looked great, but of course it still smells faintly of cat pee in the hall.  (We have a spot in the hallway that one of the cats goes on repeatedly).  They also wanted us to think about the adoption option.  They were ready to staff for his forever home- “staff” means interviews and determining who would get him by a panel of workers, If I remember right, his panel will be of his SW, his GAL (lawyer) and a juvenile court person.  Normally in my county, by the time a child is free for adoption, he’s been in the same home for more than 9 months.  In those cases, the “staffing” would be the team deciding if the current home would be best, without looking at any other families (unless they say the current home isn’t a right fit).  But sense we’ve only had him 2 months, we don’t get preferential choice.  That means that they sent his profile out to the other waiting adoptive families and will chose between any interested.  Two other families responded.  So the Team has to choose between the 3 of us.  If we had decided we didn’t want to adopt him, we would have been ON the team to decide (as current care givers).

Today his SW texted that the staffing will be on December 9th.   What we’ll have to do is to talk to the team in an informal interview and they will read over our home study.  They will do the same with each of the families.  IF we are not picked, we WILL get a gradual transition where there will be visits between us and the new family, etc.  I would assume they would want Sam for Christmas, which makes sense. They will have a pick by 5pm.

So we’re going to panic for the next few weeks.  At least we’ll also have the other baby to consol us if we lose Sam.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

follow up visit from our social worker

Our social worker came back today and was very impressed with how well the house looked! Here's hoping we did enough and they are satisfied.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I think I can eat off my kitchen floor now

Sense Monday (3 days) we have:

Vacuumed living room, hall, and Sam's room 3x (once including moving all furniture)
Re arranged the electronics in the living room (computer desk and TV stand)
re arranged the book shelves in the living room
removed 3 boxes of comics and game books that have say in the corner of the living room for the last 6 years
picked up toys a billion time (ok about 4 or 5 time)
scrubbed the hall bathroom from top to bottom
removed the glass doors from the bathtub
moved the cat litter from the kitchen to the master bathroom
re arranged Sam's room
Scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom
moved the booze from the shelf to above the fridge
mopped the kitchen and hall bathroom floor 3x each
Scheduled a carpet cleaner to come shampoo the living room and hall carpet.

We have used
a gallon of concentrated Bleach
2 full boxes of Carpet refresh powder
a can of Scrubbing bubbles bathroom cleaner
large bottle of 409
3 magic erasers
8 30 gallon trash bags

And the house was clean to start with, by my standards.

I had a lot of help from Ashley.  He did the bathroom mostly and helped with everything else too.  The things he'll do to keep Sam.  If Sam wasn't at stake, I probably would be trying to do it all myself.

I sent these photos to our social worker and she said she was impressed with the improvements!
I forgot to take some before photos... but here's the after:

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"There's concerns about the state of your home"

Yep.  Yesterday my licensing social worker (who I have never met before) and her manager came by for a surprise visit at 11 am.  Apparently K, Sam's SW felt that our house was not clean enough at all and wanted to pull him from us!

So my SW and manager came by to check things out.  The problem was that I hadn't vacuumed all weekend etc.  So they gave me a list of things that had to be done ASAP. and then the SW came back out today to see how we did.

This is a copy of the actual list and what we got done

Yesterday's list that was supsoe to get done yesterday:
"Wires away and off the desktop ((computer wires were visiable and accessable))  Fixed (put the tower on the floor instead of the desktop)
"Things off the floor-debris, boxes, vacuum, order helper" ((box of books in corner and crumbs around the edges of the room)) Fixed
"food items put in kitchen" ((Ash left a bag of chips on the computer table after eating them last night)) Fixed
"Trash out of way or with lid" ((we had several small trash cans in the living room for convienence)) removed trash cans
"sweep and mop kitchen floor" got it swept
"cat box out of the kitchen" moved to the master bathroom
"Clean bathroom" -got the tub washed and swept the floor, need to do the tolet and the tub again
"organize Sam's bedroom" ((I had stuff spread out on the twin bed in his room)) Still need to do.

She came back today and was pleased with the work we got done and said to finish what we didn't get to yesterday and added

""immaculate' Kitchen - mop/scrub floors, clean counter top and faces, clear tables, organize shelves, clean fridge
"'immaculate" bathroom" - scrub tub, sink, toilet, floor, put away everything
maintain improved areas
vacuum every night and deodorize every night too.

She said she may pop in several more times this week to check on the progress and defantly be back
monday.

Sigh.  I can understand why they are being so hard on us but at the same time, its...well, Hard!

Procedure with an adoption plan is that the child be in a foster home a minimum of 9 months and that foster family gets preferential staffing, if its less than 9 months, then they can staff other interested families as well.  So right now we dont have preferential and some of the rest of the team think we should be eliminated from the staffing for adopting Sam.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Homevisit

Sam's Social Worker came by last night to check on him.  I didn't crazy clean cause I didn't think she'd do a walk through or anything.  Well, she even looked in the fridge and in the Garage!  I feel horrible cause she noted "cat litter scattered on the kitchen and beer bottles in the garage" even though those are both places sam is not allowed to go un supervised.

So I guess we need to work on cleaning the house up better.  Which is hard while also learning how to handle a toddler.  I hope she doesn't think bad of us for it.

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